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_RamKrish1012

Many Singers are Abandoning Smule. They need HELP

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DuetWithAlli

Due to concerns about stalking, I wanted to make you all aware of a change I just noticed. If you go into the settings in the Smule app, and scroll down to Privacy ... there is an option that says “Use my online status is lists”. If you hit the i beside it, it says “You can be shown as recently active to people you follow. For example, if “On” is selected, other users you follow are more likely to see your profile in a list of recommended invites to a Live Jam”. Those who are following this thread might want to know this as it caught me by surprise when I went in to clear my cache. Of course it is automatically turned on so I toggled it to “Off”.

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PeacefulJoin
Posted (edited)

Thank you for the tip. Not that I am opposed to anyone joining a public Jam I may open, but I prefer not to be on the list of recommendations. I like it! 👍🏼

Edited by ShiningSinger
Omitted word

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BrainDad

Wow, I'm really appaled reading this.

This is the kind of things that go unnoticed for males. We travel life - and internet as the part of life it is - mostly unconcerned ... but women have to cope daily with this legion of suckers.

I had thought that harrashment in smule was a marginal problem, but know I see it's a great problem. It's just invisible for men, and an invisible problem is very hard to fix. That's one of the reasons gender parity is a good aim, it widens the point of view in any aspect of life.

I won't apologize for beign a man, but I do for being blind and unconscious.

 

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PeacefulJoin
13 hours ago, BrainDad said:

Wow, I'm really appaled reading this.

This is the kind of things that go unnoticed for males. We travel life - and internet as the part of life it is - mostly unconcerned ... but women have to cope daily with this legion of suckers.

I had thought that harrashment in smule was a marginal problem, but know I see it's a great problem. It's just invisible for men, and an invisible problem is very hard to fix. That's one of the reasons gender parity is a good aim, it widens the point of view in any aspect of life.

I won't apologize for beign a man, but I do for being blind and unconscious.

 

Not all men are alike, as proven with your comment. I always try my best not to lump good men with bad, even though I, as others, find the situations to be quite traumatic, especially when the man lures outside parties, especially people they may feel are prominent people on the app, into the situation to gain credibility.  IT WORKS! I find it  disturbing that seemingly intelligent people fall for it, even though they do not even know the victim. They take a side regardless of not knowing both sides of the situation and assist the perpetrator. Therapists say this is how the typical narcissistic sociopath/psychopath operates, and the people they use to do their dirty work are called “apaths.” They are very good at manipulating the best of people. Yes, I went to a therapist because my bully and his apaths insisted I was the one who needed help. I thought what the heck. I will get checked out... No, I am perfectly sane. I was dealing with a certifiable narcissistic sociopath/psychopath. It still upsets me that he has gotten by with lying on me and caused great divisions, the hardest thing for me to let go. I despise a liar. His day will come, though. Karma forgets NOTHING! 

But yes, sadly situations as mentioned on this thread do occur more often than they should and places where they should not, such as a singing app! I came to Smule as a stress reliever from the real world. I intend to continue and try to enjoy it. So far so good, even if I have to remain anonymous 😊 

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BrainDad

Also, I see singing is an activity a with very high level of exposure. As I've experienced with other people in amateur singing, like me, we all have a vulnerable yet egocentric - not necesarily selfish - point. I use to joke with my singer friends about us all being a bit damaged goods.
This makes the singer the perfect victim for a bully.
When you are lead vocal in a band, you have to bear in mind that you are not more important than any of your partners. No one is worth more than anyone ... But you are usually placed in the center, like 80% of public eyes are set on you, you have to be also the showrunner, and try to act confident.
I supose all this circumstances, combined with this society sick of patriarchy, end with a lot of female singers bullied.

It's disgusting.

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Crazyjster

I was a shrink for many years actually and what goes on here is no different than any other app or social media platform. When it comes to bullying men are no worse then women, actually women may be worse towards other women! I personally don’t take that stuff to heart because in reality this is an app and I am here to have fun and not deal with drama. What is concerning is the people that DO take it seriously and may not be completely stable, but that is true for every social media platform.

Then there are those who take advantage which infuriates me. Those who are more vulnerable are often easy to find and are targets. I don’t see any way to prevent this without people loosing overall freedom but maybe a better reporting system with faster action. 

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PeacefulJoin
Posted (edited)

The professional I went to would never refer to himself as a “shrink” and I would not refer to him as such, either. Oh well ... If you’re comfortable being called a shrink then that’s all that matters. 😊 The doctor I told my situation to certainly took a different stance than you, but I guess professionals can be different  ... but you don’t know my situation, either. 

I am sharing my experience.  The bullies/psychopath/sociopaths are far more courageous behind their keyboards. Not really sure of what the guy is capable of if he lived near me, but we have taken precautions for that situation if God forbid it occurred.

And as for genders, yes, women can be as mean as men. His apaths tormented me, so I’ll agree with you totally on that comment. I can handle them and did, but if it ever came down to say a jury trial... I wouldn’t want to be him or any of them. 

Again, It is serious when the bully uses the Internet to hunt down family members and get his apaths to do it, as well.   That is exactly what happened to me, and I took it seriously and so did my family and the authorities. The bully hasn’t won or didn’t win. Little does or did the idiot know that leaving me alone and not discussing me or lying on me would prevent the back and forth. He can continue his predator behavior but don’t use me as a diversion. And I want to add the doctor told me those type of individuals thrive on attention, good or bad, so when I fought back he actually got  a thrill... o

We’ll just let him continue to live his own little delusional world with his apaths... They seem to be everywhere... Let’s SING on! Peace! ✌🏼😁

Edited by ShiningSinger
Typo
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BrainDad

Yes, of course I believe bully women can be as mean as bully men. 

My thought was more about this society, where there are very little probabilities of me being bullied in smule, but if I were a woman, this would be statistically very different. And if I happened to be hot ... the odds would balloon! ¬¬

 

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